Friday, September 2, 2016

Pun ish ment

Literary jokes for the learned ...

Pun ish ment.

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
3. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
4. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
5. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
6. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass".
7. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
10. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
11. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
12. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be In Seine .
13. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
14. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
15. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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