Saturday, February 21, 2015

Which song?


Which song is this?
12.999999999999999.....


Horse and a goat


There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat…..

One day, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him down.

Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation.

The next day, they gave him the medicine and left.

The goat approached the horse and said: - Be strong,  friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!

On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left.

The goat came back and said: - Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up.
Let's go! One, two, three...

On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said:- Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.

After they left, the goat approached the horse and said: Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three... Good, good. Now faster, come on...... Fantastic! Run, run more!
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!

All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting: It's a miracle! My horse is cured. We must have a grand party. Let's Cook the goat!!!! ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ข 

Lesson:
Whatever you do, always mark a CC to your manager. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Saturday, February 14, 2015

WhatsApp 20150214


> Arz hai-roz roz weight napkar kya karna hai,
> ek din to sabne marna hai,
> char din ki hai zindagi,
> kha lo jee bhar ke,
> agle janam to phir 3 kilo se hi start karna hai..
> -----------------------------------------------
> BoY :  Ro kyu rhi ho..??
> GaL :  Mere Marks bahot kam aaye hai...
> BoY :  Bata kitne aaye hai..??
> GaL :  Sirf 88% ..
> Boy :  Khuda ka Khauf kr .. Itne mein to 2 Ladke Pass ho jate hai...!!
> =======================================

Sunday, January 11, 2015

From WhatsApp 10/08/2014


Who are lizards?

They are those poor crocodiles who forgot to have Horlicks when they were young
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
What is a Pizza..?

A Pizza.. is just a Paratha that went abroad for higher education !
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

From WhatsApp 11/18/2014


TV Anchor interviewing a Farmer:
Q: Aap Bakre ko kya khilate ho?
Farmer : Kale ko ya Safaid ko?
Anchor: Safaid ko...
Farmer : Ghaas...
Anchor: Aur Kale ko?
Farmer : Use bhi Ghaas hi khilata hu.....
Anchor: Inhain baandhte kidher ho?
Farmer : Kise Kale ko ya Safaid ko?
Anchor: Safaid ko.....
Farmer : Bahar ke kamre mein
Anchor: Aur Kale ko?
Farmer : Use bhi bahar ke kamre mein......
Anchor: Aur nehlate kaise ho?
Farmer : Kise Kale ko ya Safaid ko?
Anchor: Kale ko......
Farmer : Pani se
Anchor: Aur Safaid ko?
Farmer : Use bhi pani se.....
Anchor Ghusse se:
Kamine, jab dono ke saath sub-kuchh ek jaisa karta hai tou mujhse baar baar kyu puchhta hai, "Kala ya Safaid?"
Farmer : Kyu ke Safaid bakra mera hai.......
Anchor: Aur kala?
Farmer : Woh bhi mera hi hai!

From WhatsApp 1/10


Alia Bhatt - Safola oil toh de diya bhaiya. Is kee sath ka gift nahi diya.
Shopkeeper -  Isske sath koyi gift nahi hai. 
Alia - Ullu matt banao isme likha hai "Cholesterol Free" 
+++
Varun - How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?
Aliya - I can eat 6 apples.
Varun - Wrong. you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple that’s not an empty stomach!
Aliya: Wow superb joke. I’ll tell my friend..
Aliya to Shraddha - How many apples you can eat on an empty stomach?
Shraddha - I can eat 10.
Aliya - Pagal.. 6 bolti to mast joke sunati!! 
+++
Alia Bhatt calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.
Alia - When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. What's the problem?
Help Desk - Dear lady, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person is standing behind, he can't read your password.
Alia - Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.
+++
What is half of 8?
Rajni: 4
Alia: Depend karta hai ....
agar horizontally half karo to ''0'' or vertically karo to ''3''
+++
Alia bhatt: Hey dad, what plans for weekend ?
Mahesh bhatt: Income Tax Returns.
Alia bhatt: Hey first part kab release hua tha?
+++
100 metre ki race ho rahi thi...
Referee said '1,2,3 GO!'...
Everybody started running except Alia bhatt.
Referee - Y r u not running...?
Alia - My number is 4.
+++
Alia bhatt and varun dhawan are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down.
Alia - What should we do now?
Varun- We'll take 50:50.
Alia- What about the remaining 900?
+++
Alia Bhatt: Let's go for movie. 
Varun: Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment today..
Alia Bhatt: Just cancel it,Tell him you're sick.
+++
Alia reading newspaper..

News:
"Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump"

Aalia comments:
Idiot !!
Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping!!!
+++
Deepika Padukone : I have more Fans than You..
Alia Bhatt: No Big deal, I have AC at Home.

From WhatsApp 1/11


เคฎाเคธ्เคŸเคฐ - เค•เคฒ เคธ्เค•ुเคฒ เค•्เคฏूँ เคจเคนीं เค†เคฏे?
เคฌाँเคฏ - เค—เคฒ्เคซ्เคฐेंเคกเคธे เคฎिเคฒเคจे เค—เคฏा เคฅा .
เคฎाเคธ्เคŸเคฐ  - เค•िเคธ เคฒिเคฏे ?
เคฌाँเคฏ - เคฏेเคธ เคธเคฐ.
เคฎाเคธ्เคŸเคฐ - เคฎैंเคจे เคชूँเค›ा เค•िเคธ เคฒिเคฏे? 
เคฌाँเคฏ - เคฒिเคฏे เคธเคฐ เคฌเคนुเคค เคฒिเคฏे...