Alia Bhatt - Safola oil toh de diya bhaiya. Is kee sath ka gift nahi diya.
Shopkeeper - Isske sath koyi gift nahi hai.
Alia - Ullu matt banao isme likha hai "Cholesterol Free"
Varun - How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?
Aliya - I can eat 6 apples.
Varun - Wrong. you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple that’s not an empty stomach!
Aliya: Wow superb joke. I’ll tell my friend..
Aliya to Shraddha - How many apples you can eat on an empty stomach?
Shraddha - I can eat 10.
Aliya - Pagal.. 6 bolti to mast joke sunati!!
Alia Bhatt calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.
Alia - When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. What's the problem?
Help Desk - Dear lady, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person is standing behind, he can't read your password.
Alia - Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.
What is half of 8?
Alia: Depend karta hai ....
agar horizontally half karo to ''0'' or vertically karo to ''3''
Alia bhatt: Hey dad, what plans for weekend ?
Mahesh bhatt: Income Tax Returns.
Alia bhatt: Hey first part kab release hua tha?
100 metre ki race ho rahi thi...
Referee said '1,2,3 GO!'...
Everybody started running except Alia bhatt.
Referee - Y r u not running...?
Alia - My number is 4.
Alia bhatt and varun dhawan are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down.
Alia - What should we do now?
Varun- We'll take 50:50.
Alia- What about the remaining 900?
Alia Bhatt: Let's go for movie.
Varun: Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment today..
Alia Bhatt: Just cancel it,Tell him you're sick.
Alia reading newspaper..
"Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump"
Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping!!!
Deepika Padukone : I have more Fans than You..
Alia Bhatt: No Big deal, I have AC at Home.